Why Change Is So Difficult: Understanding How Your Three Brains Impact Change

Why Change Feels Hard — and What Great Leaders Do About It

Change is coming — whether you choose it or it chooses you. Every leader confronts this truth daily. Sometimes change is strategic and intentional. More often, it’s required, unexpected, and deeply uncomfortable. But why change is so difficult — especially personal change — continues to puzzle even experienced leaders. Research suggests that change is rooted in four recurring stages: suffering, insight, will, and action.

Why Change Is So Difficult (Core Insight)

1. Suffering

Suffering sits at the root of all change. Whether discomfort, friction, or outright pain, it’s usually the catalyst. Even when faced with mounting consequences, human beings resist changing deeply embedded behaviors. Consider this: an estimated 80% of the national healthcare budget is spent on choices tied to smoking, drinking, eating, stress, and exercise. Even with education and resources, resistance remains. Suffering opens the door to change because it forces us to pay attention.

2. Insight

Insight is the ability to see beyond ourselves — to recognize how our behaviors affect our work, relationships, and overall well-being. This stage is where awareness meets hope. Insight helps us acknowledge the need for change while providing a glimpse of what improvement could look like.

3. Will

Will is the mental force that ignites change. It becomes the engine for new behaviors, and the discipline required to sustain them. For change to take hold, willpower must be exercised daily, until new behaviors become habits.

4. Change

Change itself rarely happens overnight. In fact, it often gets worse before it gets better. New behaviors feel uncomfortable and unfamiliar. They require intentional practice and small, manageable steps. Without structure and creativity, most change efforts fail before they begin.

The Hidden Reason Change Is So Difficult — Your Three Brains

LIA teaches leaders that there is an additional factor that makes change uniquely challenging: you aren’t battling one brain — you’re battling three.

Brain 1 — The Reptilian Brain

This instinctive brain governs survival functions: heartbeat, breathing, and automatic behaviors. It repeats patterns endlessly, never adapting. Its only mission: keep you alive — even if your habits hurt you long-term.

Brain 2 — The Limbic Brain

This emotional brain controls feelings, instincts, and fight-or-flight. It processes the world through two lenses:

• Pleasure or pain

• Safety or danger

Anything unfamiliar — including positive change — feels risky, triggering resistance and sabotage.

Brain 3 — The Neocortex

This is your reasoning, thinking, problem-solving brain. It is capable of imagining a better future, analyzing options, and deciding to adopt new habits. It is the brain that wants change — but it is often outnumbered.

Aligning Your Three Brains to Make Change Possible

For change to take root, leaders must align emotions with logic. If the thinking brain chooses a goal (e.g., going to the gym), but the emotional brain feels unsafe or uncomfortable, self-sabotage happens.

The solution? Make the change feel beneficial, exciting, and rewarding to the emotional brain:

• Visualize the outcome you want

• Focus on how life will improve

• Associate the change with relief, pride, or joy

• Turn the process into small wins instead of pressure

Without emotional buy-in, even the strongest willpower collapses.

This is the secret to overcoming internal resistance and why change, despite logic and desire, feels so endlessly difficult.

Understanding your three brains doesn’t just help you navigate personal change — it gives you the tools to lead others through it with clarity and confidence. When you align logic, emotion, and intention, you create real momentum instead of constant resistance. If you’re ready to strengthen your adaptability and lead your team through change with confidence, explore our Leading Through Change & Adaptability Microlearning Workbook — a powerful, practical guide for helping leaders move through uncertainty with resilience and purpose.