When Leaders Only Want to Hear Their Own Opinions
Have you ever been in a meeting where someone asked for your opinion, but you quickly realized they weren't interested in hearing it? Maybe you raised a concern, suggested another approach, or questioned whether a decision would produce the results everyone expected. Instead of a discussion, you received a defensive response, a quick dismissal, or an explanation of why the leader was right.
What did you do the next time that leader asked for input? Did you offer another suggestion, or did you decide it wasn't worth the effort? I've seen how quickly employees learn which conversations are welcome and which ones are better avoided. Sometimes it only takes one experience to change how willing someone is to speak up.
Here's what concerns me. The leader may walk away from that meeting believing they encouraged communication. After all, they asked for opinions and gave people an opportunity to talk. But the employees may leave with an entirely different understanding of what happened. And that difference can have a lasting effect on trust.
When Leaders Stop Listening to Employees
One of the challenges of leadership is recognizing that having the authority to make a decision doesn't mean you have all the information needed to make the best decision.
Employees often see things leaders don't. They're working directly with customers, operating equipment, managing daily processes, or dealing with problems that may never reach the leadership team. Their experiences can provide valuable information about what's working, what isn't, and what might need to change.
But sometimes an employee brings forward information that challenges what a leader already believes or wants. Maybe the leader has invested considerable time in a particular plan, feels strongly about a decision, or simply doesn't agree with the employee's perspective. That's where listening becomes especially important. It's relatively easy to listen when someone agrees with us. The real test comes when they don't.
I've known situations where employees were responsible for identifying problems, studying trends, and recommending improvements, yet the information they brought forward wasn't always welcomed when it challenged leadership's existing opinions. Think about what that communicates. An organization asks someone to use their knowledge and experience to help improve results, but then becomes resistant when the findings aren't what leadership expected. If we only want employees to confirm what we already believe, we're missing much of the value they bring to the organization.
Giving Employees Time to Talk Isn't the Same as Listening
I believe this is one of the leadership behaviors we need to examine more carefully. A leader can sit through a conversation without interrupting, allow an employee to finish speaking, and still never genuinely listen to what was said.
Why? Because sometimes we're so focused on what we want to say next that we stop considering the other person's perspective. We may be preparing our defense, thinking about why their suggestion won't work, or waiting for an opportunity to explain our decision.
Then we give ourselves credit for listening because we allowed the employee to talk.
But listening requires more than remaining quiet while someone else speaks. It requires giving their words genuine consideration, particularly when those words challenge our own opinions.
That doesn't mean every suggestion is a good one. It doesn't mean employees always have the complete picture or that leaders must agree with everything they hear. There may be financial, operational, safety, or organizational considerations that affect the final decision, but if we've already decided the employee is wrong before they've finished explaining their perspective, we haven't really listened. And employees can often recognize the difference.
They notice when a leader asks thoughtful questions instead of immediately defending a position. They notice when their concerns are acknowledged rather than dismissed. They also notice when the leader's response has little connection to what they actually said.
We can't expect employees to believe we're listening simply because we believe it ourselves.
What Happens When Employees Stop Speaking Up?
Consider what happens when an employee raises a legitimate concern during a meeting and receives a response that suggests questioning leadership isn't welcome. The employee may decide not to raise that concern again. But the impact doesn't necessarily stop with that individual. Other employees watching the exchange may reach the same conclusion: speaking up carries more risk than remaining quiet.
I think this is where leaders can create problems without recognizing what they've done.
At the next meeting, everyone may appear agreeable. There are fewer questions, fewer challenges, and perhaps fewer uncomfortable conversations. The leader may even believe communication has improved because meetings are running more smoothly. But what if employees have simply stopped telling the leader what they think?
Silence doesn't necessarily mean agreement. Sometimes it means employees have learned that their opinions aren't wanted. That should concern every leader. When employees stop sharing information, leaders lose access to perspectives that could help them identify problems early, improve decisions, and understand what is happening throughout the organization.
More importantly, the working relationship begins to change. Employees may continue doing their jobs and meeting expectations, but they become less willing to contribute beyond what is required and when that happens, trust has already been affected.
How Leaders Can Build Trust by Actually Listening
When an employee approaches us with a concern, suggestion, or disagreement, I believe our first responsibility is to let that person make their point. Give them the opportunity to explain what they're seeing and why they believe it matters. Ask questions when something isn't clear. Make an effort to understand their reasoning before deciding how to respond.
Sometimes the conversation can be resolved right then. Other times, we may need more information, additional consideration, or another meeting to discuss the issue further. There's nothing wrong with telling an employee that we need time to think about what they've shared. In fact, that's often a better response than immediately dismissing an idea we haven't fully considered.
If we ultimately disagree, we should be willing to explain our reasoning when appropriate. Employees may not like every decision we make, but they can still respect a process in which their perspectives receive genuine consideration. That's an important distinction. Listening doesn't require us to surrender our responsibility to make decisions. It requires us to respect the people whose knowledge and experiences can help us make those decisions.
I often remind leaders that trust isn't something we earn simply because we hold a leadership position. It's developed through our actions and through the way people experience working with us. If we don't allow employees to make their point, and we're not genuinely listening when they do, we're going to have a difficult time earning their trust.
So the next time an employee shares an opinion that differs from yours, pay attention to what happens in your own mind. Are you considering what they're saying, or are you already preparing to explain why they're wrong?
You may have given them the opportunity to speak. The question is whether you actually listened.
At LIA Training, we believe effective communication starts with a willingness to genuinely listen, especially when someone sees things differently than we do. Our Communication Styles In Leadership microlearning workbook offers practical tools to help leaders strengthen their everyday conversations, improve understanding, and build stronger working relationships. If you're ready to take a closer look at how you communicate, it's a good place to start.
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